Saturday, May 21, 2011

Job Vs Passion Vs Practicality

Job vs Passion have been discussed in detail for a very long time, but still new perspectives have been popping up every now and then.  To add more flavor to this discussion, I have added in "Practicality ," which I personally feel is the determining factor in the Job vs Passion discussion.  I have seen people asking the young ones at home, What do you want to become when you grow up?  I hope we all have been asked the same question.  Many of us would have answered engineer,  doctor and lot of other famous professions while we were still scribbling  crayons or playing with clay and toys.  When we became teens, some of us started exploring the love for arts we had inside and wished that we become singers, musicians, artists, chefs, sports persons, writers, poets and more (I know there is very BIG list).  What I am trying to say here is that lot of us have had passion towards the arts side - but still resisted it and moved on with life.  One of the reasons why passions step back in life is because of the background.  I  have seen people labeling passion as hobbies (personal experience here).  People at home always say hobbies are good, but when hobbies start to transform into something big like passion we could hear something like this - "My son/daughter, I seriously think that it is time to spend more time on your studies and career."

The entire blame cannot be put on the parents or other influencers in life.  As people grow up they start to think more about career than passion which initiates the burial process of one's passion.  I strongly  believe passion never dies until you kill it (others cannot kill it).  I am convinced that one needs a lot of courage to pursue their passion than a regular day job.  To worsen things more, after getting married and having a child , the burial process of passion accelerates - but still not dead.

I have seen people complain that they are not able to pursue their passion because of their job and constantly blame their jobs.  This is not true as they have voluntarily pushed back their passions during education  itself.  I mean do not blame your job, you have started the process early during your education, then why blame your job? that was the time when they started thinking about career over passion.  Nowadays, so many students pursue engineering and other professional courses rather than arts and science degrees.  I doubt that those pursuing engineering and other professional courses are passionate about their field of study - I am very confident they aren't.  I have met a lot of engineers and have found only a few very passionate about their specific field of study.

I have talked in detail to a lot of my friends regarding why we have pushed aside passions back (some still call it as a serious hobby).  Each one of them came up with a very complicated long story which can be  represented by a single term "practicality."  They consider these long stories (practicality) to be an excuse to put back their passions.  They all forget the fact that this practicality is the key to roll back your passion and give life to it.  Making small changes to the hectic schedule and there you can balance your passion with work.  This post is not going to be about how to be passionate on your work.  That is a very researched subject and as I always Google is our best friend and you can find a lot on that there.

The big question comes now.  Is it easy to pursue your passion while you work? I want to be very honest here, not at all easy.  Next question from the married ones, do you think it is worth to spend your free time off work on passion than family?  Absolutely if it is a passion.  One thing to remember is that pursuing your passion off work is easy (relatively) when you are not married.  It is very hard to pursue your passion once you have your own family and a demanding job - but where there is a will there is a way and we could definitely make it happen.  I am not trying to be very optimistic here, but in reality I have been able to satisfy my passions considerably.

I love music.  I love cooking.  I love photography.   I love parrots and I have a companion parrot (very time demanding one).  I have a long list here as I have transformed my passions into serious hobbies - I believe it works that way rather than looking at it like passion.  On the other hand; I love my Job and I love my family very much.  This is where '"realistic practicality" comes in.  You may wonder how I am able to manage this long list.  It is pretty simple - organize and Prioritize.  This empowers you to handle time more efficiently.   I have a demanding full-time job but still I  am able to play drums with my friends during the weekends.  I  also find time to experiment with cooking in the mornings (squeezing in little time to quench your passion) before I get to work.  I spend everyday a lot (really a lot) of time with family after work.  Once in a while grab my camera and take some pictures and snug it close during the weekends and whenever or wherever I drive my car.  I also play online video games like CounterStrike and BattleField2 online very frequently.  While doing all this, I am also able to put in a few blog posts and take post requests from my wonderful little group of readers.  A very important note for people with multiple passions like me - you have to give more importance to your "main passion/passions" and less importance to "side passion/passionss" - prioritize that is what it is all about.  There is nothing wrong in having multiple passions and I have met a considerable number of people with many passions - so we are not "odd and different."  All I can say is do not try to confine your passion into a "single one" or a "small list" but do remember to have a limited list or a single "main passion" which is what your heart yearns more for than the others.

When the life demands to put a restraint to your passions, please do not try to bury them.  First of all, stop questioning yourself, why I have not become what I wanted to be?  This is life and we do not know what life has in store for us.  Do take passion along with you for a wild ride in LIFE.  Yes it is possible and definitely not exhausting because passion gives you more energy and recharges you.  If you do feel exhausted that means that is not passion at all.

As usual I have steered away from what I wanted say.  My blog posts are never planned and I type out as the idea flows out of my mind.  I think I have made a lot of points (complicated ones as usual) and I  would like to conclude this post with a small concluding note (may be a little long one).

PRACTICALITY is something which lets you BALANCE your regular JOB and PASSION.   You have to understand that you took a regular job because it was more practical.  Also it is practical to pursue your passion while loving your family and work.  I strongly believe if you are not spending some time on your passions you are definitely not HAPPY and if you are not happy you can never be passionate on your work.

Wait!!!  Passion for work - Yes I mean that.  Am I passionate on my work? definitely, a big YES.  A new question arises now in Lovecriminal's mind, How do you find your work to be passionate? Thank God - I think I have got an idea for another blog post "How to work with passion."  Sorry guys, our friend Google brought around 257,000,000 results for the same and do not like my post to be the 257,000,001; may be 257,000,001. Just Kidding !!!!!




 








Sunday, May 01, 2011

Boy Girl Relationship / Friendship - Call it the way you want it

|||||||  This post is not intended to provide any relationship advice |||||||||| 

This post is about LoveCriminal's views on boy-girl / men-women relationship.  I have been getting repeated requests from my regular readers to write a blog post on my opinions on opposite sex relationship i.e. boy-girl relationship in case of teens or men-women relationship in case of adults.  I have been trying to dodge this topic for quite some time because I was a little unsure about this topic and something was preventing me (dunno what).  Anyway the time has come and here goes the post which I dedicate to one of my regular readers who  I wish would not like her (yes it is a 'she') name to be mentioned.  I would like to say thanks to her for making requests and inspiring me to write more.

If you want to find the reason why boys and girls (I also mean men and women throughout this post) crave for a relationship or friendship with the opposite sex, you obviously cannot find one.  I think it is  kinda situational because nowadays men and women can be found mixed together at almost every places (both at study and work).  The desired relationship can be either friendship, romantic one, a physically attracted one but I believe it it is mostly something like "everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend and I should also have one."  The main mistake people make while starting a relationship is forgetting to define it.  I agree that human relationships especially the opposite-sex ones are unpredictable.  I have seen so many friendships ending up in wed locks.; likewise a lot of romantic relationships biting the dust in the long run.  We all do not know what life has in store for us, so do relationships.  I feel it would be better to define your relationship right in the beginning especially for the girls because you do not want to be snogged or caressed (no vulgarity intended) while watching a movie with your so called best friend.

This obviously does not mean that girls are innocent and pure.  There are exceptions in each gender.  Obviously, I have come across a few women who were very successful in maintaining diverse relationships (romantic, friendship and physical one) with a considerable number of men at the same time.  I have seen some desperate boys and girls making statements like "a boy and a girl can never be friends without being sexually attracted at some point."  Even though "sex" is a natural urge in humans, it does not mean that this sexual intention coexists with friendship.  It exists and is the main stay in certain relationships beyond friendship, something like friendship with benefits (casual relationship). - I will save a post on this one some other time.  Surprisingly, sex plays an important part in a considerable number of relationships (except "simple" friendship) - it may not be what the word means but just some snogging and caressing (which can be innocent too).

The most critical element in a relationship is commitment.  Without commitment, the relationship will tumble down so soon without the individuals knowing what happened and why it happened.  Do not ask me to define commitment because I am not good at defining complicated terms. like commitment.  According to me, commitment is not  magic to happen immediately; it is a slow process and is built over time and understanding.  Commitment does not mean that either of the two in relationship are having a romantic run, even simple friendships could benefit from commitment and can transform into something wonderful to treasure.  But remember, commitment does not mean  being possessive.  You have to respect your partner, they have an active social life too, they have the right to hang out with their friends (even the opposite sex ones).  Do not put down rules like whom they should interact with and whom they should not.  Too much rules and possessiveness are reasons why many relationships do not last.

I have come across many girls breaking a relationship by changing their mobile numbers - that means running away from the relationship.  This is not a smart idea in my opinion.  Every relationship has its own good and bad times and obviously the other person has the right to know that the relationship has ended and both can move on with their life.  It is easily said than executed - I know.  Try to put forward your reasons for breaking and listen to the other partner.  The other partner will definitely have a series of questions if they really want to continue the relationship.  If you can definitely answer their questions - yeah it is time to break the relationship.  If you can't answer them, I would definitely say about thinking twice because it is like you are trying to distance yourself than breaking the relationship.  If you still want to end the relationship, try to say as calmly as you can in a very neutral environment and try to make them understand.  Hopefully, even they are not convinced completely they will accept the reality in time and move on with life.  Breaking up hurts both  for the "dumper" and the "dumpee."  Breaking up can make your heart break but it will heal through time both for you and your ex ? (relationship goes here).

You may have a question like this, "hey lovecriminal, you have a given a short post on boy-girl relationship and what about friendship."  Lovecriminal believes friendship is also a form of relationship and obviously every individual would have celebrated, celebrating and will celebrate a lot of friendships and why talk about this more.  If you do indeed want a post to know LC's perspective on this "BUZZ ME" on the right column.  I completely agree with Dior Yamasake's quote "Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life."